“Porky's Hole Thoughts” discusses the secrets to a long and happy life as well as the benefits of an industry job that involves travel.

One of the perks of the job: meeting fellow well drillers.


Recently, I've experience two miraculous occasions …

In September 2005, Bess and I celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary and are looking forward to the 50th. Then, in February, I turned 70. All the Cutter males before me never lived to be over 52.

My secret to staying married is saying “I love you” often; saying “I'm sorry, you're right;” and if you say something that your significant other doesn't like, do like people do with Sears, just take it back. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well with women. Women are like elephants - they never forget.

My secret to a long life: Don't make the wife or lady friends too mad, don't worry and be happy.

I continue to be excited about my new, paying job with Cycle Stop Valves. Who else gets a salary, new car, travel expenses, GPS and is told to locate and call on drillers, pump installers, irrigation people and others in 10 states? I even get to attend the water well/ground water conventions. I work for great people, Cary and Karen Austin, principal owners of Cycle Stop Valves.

If you travel or need to find a physical address in the United States and have never used a global positioning system (GPS), try one. My employer sent me one that attaches to the windshield by suction. You put in a physical address (it's simple), and the GPS will direct you from where you are to where you want to go. You don't even have to watch the small map: A woman's clear voice will tell you where to turn before you get there and tell you when you have arrived. Other than Porky having two women telling him where to go, it's great. Occasionally, the two women get into an argument about the right directions, but believe the GPS, it will get you there.

On our January trip to call on people in Virginia, Delaware, Maryland and Pennsylvania and at the Pennsylvania Ground Water Exposition, we met many new and old friends.

The GPS's directions took us to Brown Brothers Drilling near Nottingham, Pa., where we saw Larry, Mark, Maurice, their sister and mother. We had a great visit with everyone, took some photos and were told some great stories, one of which they shared with us and authorized us to include in this article:

One day, Brown Brothers Drilling was drilling a well when one of the brothers said, “We have a problem.” Apparently, they had drilled into a sewer line from a home. The drilling air compressor had blown back into the sewer and into the house. At the time, a lady was sitting on the toilet on the second floor. Well, it blew the lady off the toilet, making quite a mess of her and the restroom.

Needless to say, she was quite surprised and quite upset about the event and all the &#*! that had happened. Not only did it make a mess of the lady and the restroom, it made a mess over the restroom sink and bathtub; it also did considerable damage to the ceiling above them.

In addition, when we were at the recent Pennsylvania Ground Water Exposition, members of Brown Brothers Drilling advised me that since I had seen them, they had drilled into some drain fill laterals and it blew out the drain laterals. Who's to blame - the regulator department or an illegally installed lateral system? Certainly, not the driller: The drilling company doesn't choose the location.

Many of the people we call on are working, so I am forced to call on them another time. We met a lot of clients on our trip and are looking forward to our future trips.

Keep your favorite stories in mind to tell me when I call on you.