Qualities of a Well Driller's Bride
He may come in bearing flowers because he suddenly remembered it's your birthday (allow a 4 month margin) but, at the same time, be worried about the hole that gave him trouble all week. Don't confuse the two. He doesn't. Take the flowers, thank him, put them in water and be prepared to listen to a half-hour of unburdening. This is natural behavior. Later, he'll ask you how you liked the flowers. Forget the ranting and raving and tell him you liked the flowers. Make a note to yourself to remind him when your birthday actually is. I've got driller friends whose wives can pull this off two or three times a year! "You know, dear, tomorrow is my birthday." He probably won't know the difference.
Cooking is an iffy subject. Most drillers appreciate good food, but sometimes quantity comes before quality. Don't let it bother you too much if you just spent four hours making his favorite dinner and he sits there with a cell phone in one hand, reading the National Driller with the other and asks if you've got any more biscuits. Sometimes eating is a thing to be savored over time; sometimes it is just an interruption in a busy day. Learn to tell the difference.
Sometimes he might ask you if you want to go for a ride. To the novice, this might seem like a pleasant, even romantic, thing to do, but beware. Usually, he's got something in mind other than bonding and watching a beautiful sunset -- like three or four quick service calls. If he wants to take the truck, be prepared for a few hours dehydrating while he changes a pressure switch or adjusts a softener. If he wants to take the car, check the trunk for pipe wrenches, glue, fittings or whatever. This will give a clue as to his true intentions. A small goody bag containing some snacks and a book will help pass the time until he remembers that you are out there in the truck.
Now that women's lib, equality and fair division of chores have become in vogue, you may or may not do all the laundry, but be prepared for a lot of it. When washing clothes, remember it's quantity, not quality, that counts here. He'll come in with bushels of clothes covered with stuff that only a forensic pathologist could hope to analyze. He probably won't notice starch and creases so much as clothes that weigh less, don't stand up on their own and are vermin-free. Don't forget to check the pockets. He'll leave the bill for the big job in one pocket, his wallet in another and some walking around money in another. Consider the money a tip, but rescue everything else. Another tip: If his clothes look completely hopeless, offer to wash his truck. Then when he thinks you are really going out of your way to please him, spread out his dirty clothes in the bed of the truck and run it through an automatic car wash.
A word to the young guys searching for a soul mate: Try to get a bride before you get a rig. If you get the rig first, it'll shrink the pool of contestants by about 80 percent. Some women just can't see your heart of gold beneath the mud. Also, while it is perfectly acceptable to expect your rig to do it's duty, this is definitely not a good approach to your bride unless you just love to sleep in the truck and eat potted meat and crackers.
One more thing: Send her flowers for no special occasion. It's well worth the investment. Have them delivered at her job for maximum impact -- it'll make all the other heifers jealous. Hey, that's a two-fer!